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When you are sad, do you prefer happy or sad songs?
Interestingly a study shows when people are down, most people feel better when they listen to sad music, because sad music make them feel more understood. Here is a link to the article “Why Do We Like Listening to Sad Music”.
Why do we listen to sad music when we’re sad?
We feel better about our situation when we believe that someone else has experienced something similar and understands exactly how we feel. More importantly, it reassures us that there’s nothing <em style=”color: rgb(153, 153, 153); text-align: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;”>wrong with how we feel.
Why do we enjoy sad music even when we’re not sad?
Many people prefer sad music even when they’re not particularly upset. This is surprising, given the nature of music. Why would anyone want to risk messing up a perfectly good mood by listening to something gloomy?
Sad music is moving
Happy music, by itself, is often trite and boring. Just because a song expresses happiness doesn’t mean that people will always want to listen to it.
Most people who enjoy sad music would say that it’s more ‘moving’ than any other form of music. One study found that sad music evoked, in addition to sadness, a range of positively toned aesthetic emotions. It also found that the people who scored high for the trait of empathy most appreciated and enjoyed the beauty of sad music. They simply enjoy the emotional arousal that sad music evokes.Which do you prefer when you feel sad, listening to sad songs or happy songs?
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24 Replies
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I came across a radio program on the CBC where they interviewed this author Susan Cain who speaks about why sad songs are so popular. I really can relate to the point she makes that “sad music can transform our pain and longing to beauty”. Artists like painters and rock stars bring us the breath of magic from that other place of beauty.”
I think more than half of Beethoven’s repertoire is sad music that transforms into beauty, like the Moonlight Sonata.
I found this Ted talk given by Susan Cain really moving.
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Jung:
It is funny that you brought that up. On Friday our high school baseball team traveled to my home town to play a league game. On the bus there I was reviewing the lineup with the other coaches and then listened to “No More Worries Company” and “One More Time”. I was very confident (okay, maybe hopeful) that the kids would do well against my alma mater.
Well, it was a rough afternoon, losing 12-3. In the long run, there was some good things that came out of it, so it wasn’t so bad. The kids are here to learn. Anyway, on the way home, I had “Still a Friend of Mine” and “In It for Love” playing over and over.
It makes sense in my world, because baseball has always given me both pleasure and pain. Good games that I played were always matched with days in which I was cut from elite teams in my youth. I played to my best potential, which often was just not enough. Still, the siren song of baseball would call me back (kind of like the pretty girl in school who you would know would eventually dump you for a guy with muscles, lol).
So sad songs worked well on Friday. Baseball, you are “still a friend of mine” and I always come back because I am “in it for love (of the game)” no matter what you do!
Sounds silly, but those were the two MonaLisa Twins songs that I was listening to on the ride home. Hopefully, by the end of the season, the players will include one MLT song in their pregame rotation of music. Perhaps it will change their luck.
Oh, the power of music…
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Have to add, when I am remembering my late parents, I have two songs that I play and shed a tear or two. I don’t think they even knew these songs existed, but they are so appropriate:
Dad: “100 Years” by Five for Fighting (although he lived to almost 81)
Mom: “I’ll Always Be With You” by Tommy Shaw and Jack Blades
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That’s a very intriguing video, Jung!
Maybe I’m weird (okay, forget the “maybe”), but when I’m sad I generally don’t listen to music at all, preferring just to be alone with my thoughts. And when I’m happy I’ll listen to pretty much anything, but sad songs will make me instantly sad.
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I think sad songs feel empathic when we are sad. And i think happy songs can be annoying then.
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Hi Christopher, sorry to hear the game did not go in your favour, but it’s great to hear you got everyone listening to MLT on the way there and back. Still A Friend of Mine and In It For Love are great songs to shine the beauty when you are feeling down.
For me I feel so much longing in MLT’s “Close To You”, and “June”. It takes my pain and sad memories and sends me to a more beautiful better place whenever I listen to it. MLT music has the power to transform your pain and sorrow into beauty.
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David, I think I can relate too, in that when I am sad, I tend towards just being alone in silence contemplating. It’s at times when when I hear a sad song that comes on, I reflect on a sadness or memory of it, and I find beauty within the sadness that I could not believe is possible, and I feel better.
I posted this one here before, but I listened to this one day a few years ago, just happened to be one of the tracks on the CD. Normally when I heard this in the past, the initial sombre tone put me off and I did not listen any further, but this time I did, and found amazing beauty and comfort in it. It is a funeral march, but within the funeral march about 2:20 minutes in, a beautiful consoling melody comes on reminding me of the beauty and love of the person I was missing. It transformed something sad into something beautiful and I felt better. Chopin had so much beauty to express in this piece about death and loss. It’s very moving.
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I see what you mean about the “Funeral March”, Jung. The accompanying images were timed very well to match the music. It’s very moving.
I sometimes listen to songs that match my mood. A good mood can be made better by happy music. But when I am down sad music brings me comfort. I think sad music helps the listener work through their emotions.
Sometimes a long drive and a good cry is what you really need.
and for happy times
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Of course how a given song makes you feel can change over time. I keep thinking of this profound example from the final episode of MASH. It’s in four segments, so to get them all in one message I added a bunch of spaces to the URLs that need to be removed when you copy and paste them:
https:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v= MXNgf88W8BI
https:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v= jkwkFClbaKI
https:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v= 5T6Q5cHSAMw
https:// www. youtube. com/ watch?v= vmcQt0fdftw
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Hi JP. That Funeral March video matches the song so perfectly and illustrates the beauty within the cold reality. It makes me feel that there is another more beautiful place, and music is the link to that other better place.
Back in 2017, I was grieving my mom and was in a dark place, and one day I came across MLT San Francisco, and it was that bridge to another more beautiful place I needed. It took the sad memory of my time in San Francisco with my mom, and transformed it into something beautiful that I could cherish and embrace. Music is such a wonderful thing.
REM’s “Everybody Hurts” is the perfect example of that empathy sad music brings, a reminder we are not alone in our pain and suffering. That makes a big difference. MLT’s “When We’re Together” lights the darkness, love it. They inject great beauty into this world.
David, I didn’t see that Mash episode before. It is funny and so touching at the end! Music, musicians transcend wars and the harshness of this world. I will have to look for the whole episode to watch. Awesome.
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Jung, if you’ve watched MASH at all, you HAVE to see the final episode! It originally aired as a 2.5-hour special and contains many memorable moments as each major character gets his/her own story arc and sendoff. I believe it still holds the record, nearly 40 years later, as the most-watched episode of a scripted TV series ever.
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David, I remember hearing about the big final episode of Mash, but never saw it. I will track it down.
I remember one of the most memorable and hard hitting Mash episodes for me was the one where Lt Colonel Henry Blake says his farewells and leaves Mash to go home. There is the ending scene of that episode in the ER while the doctors and nurses are triaging the wounded, Radar comes on the speaker to announce Henry Blake’s chopper went down and there were no survivors. All the doctors just continue working on their patients in silence. Really portrayed the coldness of the reality of war, how you lose comrades and friends just like that.
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Yes, watching an episode of MASH is like turning on the radio to a random song: you don’t know if it’s going to make you smile, or cry, or both. Sometimes it’s a barbed commentary on bureaucratic incompetence, and sometimes it’s about people trapped in a hell of war and death. And just as with a good song, even if you’ve seen the episode before, you’re ready to relive the roller coaster of emotions.
I typed “MASH final episode” into YouTube and immediately found an unofficial copy of it taped with a VCR from when it first aired.
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Well, it all depends truly on my mood, situation, etc, I do both or not at all…. but generally speaking, I would rather a Happy tune to quickly counteract with sadness as I’m prone to anxiety/panic attacks and the quicker I can fend off the Negativity that can trigger , the better for me yet for whatevercreasons, a sad song could in fact be of more help too, again, it’s all an individual preface, no right or wrong answers just a personal preference case to what works best to ease one through sadness, etc or if not at all, that is fine too….☮
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Hi Jacki. For me too sometimes a brighter song can just cheer me up, it depends on the situation as you said. Kind of like if a long stretch of grey rainy weather gets me down “Good Day Sunshine”, or “California Girls” would do it to cheer me up.
With sad songs there is quite a spectrum it can cover, from the really sad songs to ones that are just melancholic or have a deep longing. If I made a list of all my favourite songs, I think the sadder ones with a feeling of deep longing or a melancholic feel would top the list. I find them very moving.
Interestingly when I do a Google search on “sad Beatles songs”, the many lists that show up lists some of the greatest Beatles songs as sad songs, for example: Eleanor Rigby, Yesterday, Let It Be, Hey Jude, Long and Winding Road, She’s Leaving Home, A Day In The Life, In My Life, Girl, Julia, Something, Free As A Bird, Black Bird, I’ll Follow The Sun, Here Comes The Sun…..
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